Do you assume responsibility for other’s feelings and behaviors or feel guilty about other’s feelings and behaviors?
Do you worry about how others may respond to your feelings, opinions, and behavior?
Do you value others opinions and feelings more than your own?
Do you feel embarrassed when receiving recognition, praise, or gifts?
Do you have a fear of being hurt and/or rejected by others?
Have you ever compromised your own beliefs, values, and integrity to avoid other’s rejection or anger?
Have you ever gone above and beyond to be needed, valued, or loved?
Have you ever tolerated mistreatment or abuse from others while justifying their behavior and trying to defend them?
Are you overly caring for others at the expense of one’s own self needs; feeling victimized and “used” as a result. Do you experience anxiety in saying “no” to someone, even when saying “yes” would be at great inconvenience?
Do you directly or indirectly attempt to fix, manage, or control another person’s problems to help them avoid feeling bad or experiencing the consequences of their choices?
Do you judge everything you think, say, or do harshly, as never being “good enough?”
Do you feel conflicted by a desire to be needed and resentment for feeling obligated in serving others.
Are you extremely loyal, to the point of remaining in harmful situations too long?
Do you Feel bound in relationships by performance (what I do) rather than core value and worth (who I am)?
Do you avoids conflict with other people to the point of being unable to speak true feelings or asking for valid needs to be met, oftentimes countered by fits of anger or rage.
Freedom from co-dependency begins when we surrender the illusion that our identity and value are established through the lenses of other people. Our identity is in how God views us and who He created us to be. As a result, we no longer need to see ourselves as a function of what we do, but who we already are. Sobriety for the co-dependent is different. It is not characterized by abstaining from a substance. It is more relational in nature.